


Lifeboat

by MiraculousLadydork



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Fix-It of Sorts, Klance Moments That Totally Happened - Season Four Edition, Langst, M/M, Pining!Keith, Pining!Lance, SPOILERS FOR S4 E1, Slow Burn, This got away from me, i don't know how long this is going to be, i mean technically it is yeah, i think it's turning into klance in season four, im not sure what happened here guys, is that even a tag?, klance, klance through season four, klangst, pining lance, the klance we were denied, this is hella fucking angsty, why do i keep hurting myself like this?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-14
Updated: 2017-10-21
Packaged: 2019-01-17 11:54:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12365220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiraculousLadydork/pseuds/MiraculousLadydork
Summary: The Klance moments we were denied during Season Four."Lance knew what was coming.He knew it the moment Keith walked in the door dressed in that damn fine Blades suit. He knew it the moment Keith opened his mouth. He knew it the moment Allura opened hers and he opened his.But he did it anyway."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is arguably the angsty-est thing ive ever written in my life??? i maybe went a little over board
> 
> also, i switch tenses at the end, and there will definitely be more, but this went in a different direction than i expected !
> 
> it's also ridiculously short?? even by one shot standards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith comes to tell them he's leaving. Lance says nothing, but thinks a thousand things.

Lance knew what was coming. 

He knew it the moment Keith walked in the door dressed in that damn fine Blades suit. He knew it the moment Keith opened his mouth. He knew it the moment Allura opened hers and he opened his.

But he did it anyway.

“And not just the team! The refugees as well!” _And me,_ he thought. _I was scared because I didn't know where you were. And Red knew it._

He saw Allura's words, Pidge's words, his words hit Keith, and he knew he was leaving.

The distress and anguish in Keith's eyes as he searched the other Paladin's faces for an answer made Lance's heart ache, but there was nothing he could do. He wanted to say something to comfort him, but there were no words he could say. He wanted to run to him and hold him, to tell him that he needed him to stay. But he couldn't move.

So he clenched his fists and did nothing, even though it nearly killed him.

“I'm not meant to pilot the Black Lion.”

_No_ , said Lance's mind, _you're meant to pilot the Red Lion. I'm the one taking her from you, but I already told you I would step down. Why are you doing this to us? To me?_ He thought, completely missing the next part of Keith's monologue. Like any of it was sinking in anyway, when he knew what was coming.

“We hav- I have to take it. I need to be on that mission.”

_No you don't,_ Lance thought, bitterly, _you need to be here. With me._ But still he said nothing.

“Keith.” Shiro was speaking now, “If this is what you feel is right, then we won't try to stop you.”

Lance gritted his teeth. _But we should._ He thought, _ **I** should_. 

He joined the group hug, smiling and joking, “Who am I gonna make fun of?”, but it hurt. All of it hurt, like something unknown had wrapped its way around his heart and was pulling it downwards. But they weren't a thing, so who was he to tell Keith what to do with his life? This was Keith all over, afraid of responsibility but still going above and beyond to do what he believed was right. 

As the doors slid open and Keith turned away, Lance felt something inside him grow taut, like a wire primed to snap. The thing around his heart was pulling it forward as if trying to follow Keith; all of the oxygen was leaving the room and the world was starting to tilt. His throat was closing up and his eyes were burning; every cell in his body was screaming in protest, yet he continued to stand there and watch even though it felt like he was trying to escape his own skin and follow him. He couldn't just let Keith leave... could he?

But he clung to Hunk in return, and counted the steps Keith took as he made his way down the castle hallway, feeling the thing in his chest growing tighter and tighter with each step the now-former paladin took. One hand twitched, longing to stretch after him, but he gripped Hunk's arm tighter and didn't let go.

The thing inside him, now stretched impossibly tight, _painfully_ tight, began to fray as the doors closed and sealed, leaving Keith on one side and Lance on the other.

Somebody was speaking, but Lance didn't hear it; his eyes were fixed on the doors that were blurring, and everything sounded like he was underwater. Every second Keith remained on the other side of that door was another second the string between him and Lance's heart continued to fray, until the damage was irreparable.

“Lance? You okay?” 

It's Hunk.

Lance blinks.

The world comes into focus.

He turns.

The rest of Voltron are staring at him. But he's lost at sea.

“Yeah,” He says softly, turning back to face the closed door. “I'm fine.”

He's never been less fine.

He turns back to Hunk, and smiles in an attempt to be reassuring. “So, what's next?”

The string breaks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SORRY LANCE
> 
> he's my favourite, i swear! 
> 
> loved it? hated it? let me know!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith leaves Voltron. Lance goes after him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah so you know how i said this got away from me? looks like it's turned into a multi chapter thing!! lots more angst yay!!
> 
> it's now basically the Klance Moments That Totally Happened - Season Four Edition
> 
> i have adjusted the tags accordingly

Step.

Breathe.

Step.

In through the nose.

Step.

Out through the mouth.

Step.

Keith's boots felt like they were coated in lead. Every step was heavy and difficult, like wading through wet sand. His hands were shaking and his eyes were burning, but he did what he'd always done and what he would continue to do until he reached the end of the line. He kept moving and didn't look back.

They let him go.

It wasn't that he'd expected them to put up more of a fight; by all means they had every right to be angry with him, he _had_ let them all down and put the lives of the team and the refugees in jeopardy, but he'd expected a little more after all they'd been through.

Maybe that was wrong of him.

Maybe that was his fault, too. Allura was right, he _had_ been pulling away. But what did they want from him!? He wasn't the Black Paladin, he wasn't the leader, that was _Shiro's_ job! It was all well and good for them to say that the Lion had chosen him and he needed to step up, but where was their faith in him!? None of them believed in him, and he knew that. It just made it harder when Shiro returned and Black wouldn't respond to him any more. They didn't want to follow Keith, which was evident in the way they turned to Shiro for advice during battle, and yet they had to. He could taste their disappointment, bitter and tangy on the end of his tongue.

No, he hadn't expected them to stop him at all.

In fact, he was surprised they hadn't kicked him out earlier. All he'd done as leader was put the team in danger, time and time again. At least this way he left on his own terms before he had to feel the sting of rejection yet again when they told him they didn't need him any more. Lance had Red's approval and Shiro was back with Black. 

They didn't need him. 

They didn't want him.

Except...

Lance had believed in him. Lance had swallowed his pride and accepted the Lion's decision, and supported him during battle when things went wrong. Lance... Lance cared.

Something inside him flickered. A spark of life.

But Lance hadn't tried to stop him, either. In fact, Lance hadn't said anything at all.

The spark flickered and died.

God, why did his thoughts always have to come back to Lance? Lance had no interest in him other than that of teammate. He'd even declared himself Keith's rival when they'd first met, and seemed to hold some personal grudge against him! And yet... Keith couldn't help himself. Lance just had a way of... of drawing his eye and of making him smile. Maybe, if they'd met another way, or in another universe, they could've been something. But they were in this universe, and Keith was leaving for the Blades and Lance was staying with Voltron, and that is the way they both wanted it.

Right?

There was a small, scuffled noise in the hallway behind him. Keith was hesitant to turn; he wasn't sure he wanted to face anyone right now. There was sadness and bitterness inside him, weighing him down and corrupting him, poisoning him from the inside out. No, it was better if he didn't turn.

“Keith?”

The voice was quiet and uncertain, it broke at the end, and it sent a shudder down Keith's spine and made him stop. The voice sounded as broken and desperate as he felt, and it belonged to Lance.

“Keith...”

Keith turned.

Lance stood at the other end of the hallway, looking utterly lost and bewildered - like he didn't understand why he was there. His long limbs normally gave him some air of grace and confidence, but now, standing in the dim light of the corridor, he just looked gangly and hopeless. He kept clenching and unclenching his fists, and Keith's heart began to ache. He was leaving for the good of the team, he didn't want to hurt them.

There was a moment of silence, in which Keith and Lance just stared at each other. Then Lance found his voice again.

“Don't do this.”

The words, while whispered softly and brokenly, struck Keith like a ton of bricks and sent him reeling. It took him a moment to process, and even then the only thought he had was _we're doing this now?_

“I have to.” His voice was strangled and cracked, and he suddenly felt a million miles away, staring down at himself as if from a distance. A voice, locked away somewhere in the back of his mind, was screaming in protest, banging its fists against the bars of its cage, desperate to be heard. _No you don't!_ , it was saying, _Listen to him! **Stay with him!**_ But Keith ignored it.

Lance just continued to stare at him, his blue eyes wide and searching, and suspiciously shiny. He opened his mouth and took a breath; it looked like there were a million things he wanted to say, and Keith clenched his fists in order to hide his shaking hands. _Just let me go, Lance. It will be easier for both of us in the long run._

But all Lance said was,

“Please, don't.”

Keith stared at him.

“We need you.”

Everything hurt, every cell in his body was crying out that leaving was wrong, but he knew it was not. His heart felt like it was being torn, like his whole body was being cleaved in two. The part that wanted to escape a place he felt he no longer belonged, and the part that wanted to stay with the people he'd come to call family. The people he'd come to love.

“ _I_ need you.” Lance's voice broke for real, and something spilled out of one eye and traced a sparkling trail down one cheek.

“Lance...”

“Take Red back!” The words fell out of Lance's mouth before he could stop them, and both Paladins raised their eyebrows in surprise. Despite his inner turmoil, Keith struggled to repress a smile; blurting things out was so typically Lance.

“Red is better with you,” Lance pressed on, “Voltron is better with you . _I_ -” He faltered, blushing suddenly. Then he sighed, putting a hand to his face and scrubbing a over his face and wiping away the few tears that had been there.

“Look,” Lance said, beginning to walk forwards and close the distance between them – Keith resisted the urge to back away - “I've already said, if there's anyone who doesn't belong here, it's me. I'll step down, you can take back Red and stay with Voltron. I – I don't know what I'll do, but I'll find something. You have to stay, Keith.”

Hearing his name from Lance's mouth in a soft and desperate voice made Keith's heart falter. But he couldn't stay. “Lance, you don't understand -”

“No, _you_ don't understand!” Lance yelled, flinging his arms out, scrunching his eyes. “We're a team, a unit, a _family_! We're freaking Voltron, defenders of the whole freaking universe! How are we supposed to do that if one of our team members is off on some dumb suicide mission out of some perverse sense of justice!? You don't belong with the Blade of Marmora, you belong with _us_. So stay with us.” Lance said, his voice cracking. He furiously scrubbed the back of his hand across his cheek, chasing away the stray tears that had fallen.

Keith stared at him, feeling the tear in his heart widen.

“You don't need me.” He said, quietly.

Lance took a step forwards. “What?”

“I said you don't need me!” Keith exploded, “Shiro is back with Black, Allura is with Blue, and you're with Red. Nobody can switch, but I can go to with the Blades! I can do everyone a favour and just _leave_!” He was shaking all over now, and everything ached like he was about cave in. “You can defeat the Galra without me, and I can join the Blades and do my part to help you, _even if I die trying_!”

Keith froze. He hadn't meant to say that. He hadn't even realised he'd been thinking that.

He heard Lance's sharp intake of breath, and then suddenly the sounds of boots against the floor. Keith stared unseeingly ahead, his vision blurred and hearing indistinct.

Then there were hands on his arms, pulling him forwards until he collided with something solid and warm.

Lance.

Lance was hugging him, his arms wrapped tightly around Keith's body, almost crushing him against his chest. For a moment Keith felt like he couldn't breathe, that his chest had constricted and his heart had stopped beating, but then everything began again with one harsh gasp and Keith felt like he'd never breathed this clearly before.

He returned the hug in force, clinging to Lance as his breaths began to come in shuddered gasps. Every inch of him burned for something he didn't understand, so he pressed his face into Lance's neck and clung to him tighter. Lance dropped his head to press his chin into Keith's shoulder and sighed, deeply.

It hit Keith, then, that this was all he'd wanted. Somebody to hold him, somebody to tell him that he mattered, somebody to tell him that they cared.

They stood like this for an immeasurable length of time, until Keith's breathing returned to normal and he leaned back away from Lance, yet reluctant to break the circle of his arms.

“They're going to be waiting for me.” He said, thickly.

Lance just nodded, clearly not trusting himself to speak.

“I should go.” Keith added.

Lance inhaled deeply. “I know,” He said, softly. “This is something you have to do, isn't it?”

Keith nodded. “Yeah. It is.”

Lance closed his eyes and sighed. “Promise me one thing.”

“Anything.”

Lance opened his eyes in surprise, but Keith met his gaze levelly and said nothing.

“Be safe.”

Keith huffed a laugh, “I'm not sure that's something I can -”

“Promise me.”

“I-”

“ _Promise me_ , Keith. Promise me you won't do anything unnecessarily dangerous and put your life at risk. At least not intentionally, anyway.”

Despite himself, Keith smiled. “Okay. I promise you, Lance.”

Lance nodded, still looking a little dazed. Keith couldn't blame him, given how close they still were. He could count the individual lashes around Lance's eyes, and feel the planes of Lance's lower back through his suit. There was probably around six inches between their noses, not that Keith was counting.

As Keith was preparing himself to step back and break their embrace, Lance ducked his head forwards and kissed his cheek. 

Keith's eyes widened, and Lance pulled his head back and stepped away, blushing.

“Good luck, Samurai.” He said, quietly.

Keith blinked. “You too, Sharp Shooter.”

Lance gave him one last small, sad smile, then turned on his heel and walked away.

Keith watched him go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> somebody give keith a hug and tell him he's important and his life means something, pls & thanks
> 
> loved it? hated it? let me know!


End file.
